Sexist or a Misunderstanding?

So I had an experience today that I figured I would ask the internet’s opinion on, so this isn’t actually a full entry, but more of a question.

Today, for lunch, a male co-worker and I ran over to Panda Express.  Since he had paid for lunch a few days earlier, it was my turn.  We got to the cashier, told him we were paying together, and I handed the man cash.  The man proceeded to hand the change to my co-worker, then looked at him and asked if he would like a receipt.  This question kind of got overlooked by the obvious act of my co-worker handing me the change that was actually mine, and I loudly and firmly told the cashier, that no, I did not need the receipt.

So my question is, am I over-reacting and maybe this was a simple misunderstanding, or does this seem seriously messed up that even though I had paid, I was not given my own change and apparently it was not up to me whether or not I get the receipt for something my money had gone to?

I got pretty upset, but then I hesitated and wondered whether or not I was just being paranoid over nothing?

So what are all of your thoughts on this?


6 thoughts on “Sexist or a Misunderstanding?

  1. poppygreepo says:

    It could go either way.

    The cashier may have just been busy or absentminded and between the time you handed him the money and the time he returned the changed, legitimately blanked that you’d paid. I could *totally* see myself doing that. In fact, I’m sure I have (back when I worked food/retail). Probably on numerous occasions.

    He also could’ve done it because there was a base assumption that the man paid.

    But you can’t get inside his head, so I vote for assuming the former 🙂

    • wordofwoz says:

      Fair enough, I’ll be nice and give him the benefit of the doubt.

      • echo says:

        While I doubt he was intentionally doing anything overtly sexist, it really doesn’t matter. People do the most insidious, harmful things when they are small and everyday like this–and they usually occur because people are distracted, absent-minded, and auto-pilot. This is the case for racial microaggressions, too.

        I don’t think we should just give people the benefit of the doubt, because then they’re never held accountable for their behavior. What he did wasn’t okay. My words sound harsh and like I mean that he needs to be punished or something, but I don’t mean it that way. I think that you handled it PERFECTLY! 🙂 Just a little push back, for a little situation.

  2. (e)m says:

    Well, that’s the insidious thing about microagressions. You can’t tell sometimes, and you definitely can’t prove anything.

    • wordofwoz says:

      That’s true. And it’s entirely possible that I’ve just been so wrapped up in all of this lately that my mind just naturally went there.

    • echo says:

      Um, that’s EXACTLY what I was going to comment! And it doesn’t matter what the intent of this person was. What matters is what you felt as a result, how you’re feeling now, and the impact it had on you. Intentions matter less than outcomes.

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